Discovering Joy: The Immeasurable Quality of Empathetic Joy

True joy comes from wishing others well. It seems counter-intuitive, doesn't it? But as the Dalai Lama says,

“The three factors that seem to have the greatest influence on increasing our happiness are our ability to reframe our situation more positively, our ability to experience gratitude, and our choice to be kind and generous.”

Practicing empathetic joy means you take delight in sharing it with others. You recognize that joy cannot be hoarded, divided up, or stolen. Joy gets bigger when you share it. This is what gives it the "immeasurable" quality. And who doesn't need a bit more joy these days?

Reframe your situation positively

It can be tricky to stay positive in the face of so much world turmoil. You can make it a practice to experience, and share a joyful attitude. I know that may sound trite and Pollyanna-ish. But it doesn't have to be that way. Just notice when you start getting cranky, and see if you can intervene.

Empathetic joy is a wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all sentient beings. This type of joy is different from worldly happiness in that you may not feel especially cheerful. It's more like a feeling of being content. It is the absence of struggle.

The Four Immeasurables

Empathetic joy the third of the four immeasurables. (I wrote earlier about developing the previous two immeasurable qualities that you can read here: loving kindness and compassion.)

It means relishing the good you see in the world, both in yourself and others. You feel happy when good fortune is bestowed on others. Empathetic joy is the experience of being happy for others' good news.

You see that this life is fleeting and ephemeral, and that you could actually appreciate your life more because of this. Eventually you will have to let go of everything. Why not focus on the simple joys of living in the present moment?

Practice Gratitude

One of the interesting features of living in Crestone, Colorado is the End of Life Project. Recently I attended the funeral of one our community members....an open air cremation. Ironically, this celebration of one man's death inspired joy.

What struck me during this event was that death is not the end of life, it is a part of life. Yes, our neighbor left his physical body. But his passing reminded all of us in attendance that we carry on the spark of life. More importantly, it reminded us of the preciousness of that spark. Someone remarked that death is not an event; it is a process. Be grateful for your life.